Wow!! It's been a long time since I wrote on here last... I'm always on myspace now-a-days that this page doesn't get up to date often enough. Alot has happened since the last entry. I have changed double oer and over again until I am finally truely happy with the outcome.  I have a great job, where they really appriecate what I am bring to the table! I have a great family!! That I love even on the holidays  like my dad... he's amazing! I have grown closer to him now that i'm not living at home anymore. and my mom even though she doesn't know what is going on in my life right now... she still cares and loves me. It's funny... there's only a handful of people that really truely know me... susan, tim (cuz he can guess and get it right), memo, and mandi... they know me and what I have been though and support me. It seems like evryone else kinda fell away. it's wierd how things like that happen. oh well... it doesn't bother me. i have learned to accept what i can't change. I have changed for people before and I'm not about to do it again!! I am tired of doing it. so you know if you can't accept me for what I am now then it's your lose on a great friend... cuz that's what I am capable of being. it's not my lose.

I was talking with my friend last night. when I meet him he was going out every night, drinking and having occasional smoke. I was wondering if he was out for the parties last night. And he wasn't... at first it surprised me, but he has been changing lately for the better. He hasn't been drinking so much lately... and he stopped smoking. I was impressed that he's stopping. It's good for him, but i'm at that point to where I am sleeping instead of heading out or drinking. Sure a social drink with katie, kyle, layne at the bars playing pool is great fun! but getting drunk isn't the best thing for you to be doing. I have noticed my friend's lifestyle changed over the past month, when I talk with him about getting together. he's sober and more sincere about it but being a total ass and making smart ass remarks... he never wants to get married, which is a shame cuz if I was looking for a boy... i could totally see myself fall for him. good thing i have sunk that boat a long time ago... so my heart doesn't get hurt over him  he has the potential to be really good. one day he might make a girl really happy.... anyway, i'm not to sure who reads this anymore... lates

over the weekend my sister asked me if i wanted to be megan's godmother. oh my gosh, !!! I was so shocked i was speechless. why me??? but i accepted, so soon i'll be aunt donna the godmother. and my brother-in-law would be the godfather. wow!!! life sure isn't what you except it to be.

I went on a long walk today. It cleared my mind of everything that has been bothering me lately. I actually put some feelings into words. that's amazingly making me happy. if only i can keep doing it.

At work, i feel like such a mom! I don't know why they call me teacher donna, i should be mom. one of my boys actually does call me "momma". it's so sweet, i would love to have a little boy like him one day in the far future.  he wanted me to sleep with him today. so i read him three books, and i almost fell asleep instead of him. he always makes me happy when i am around him. i am going to be one kick *ss mom when i decide the time is right.

i used to be scared of having kids of my own, right now i couldn't believe i said that. foot in mouth opportunity seriously.  i have been changing my mind about alot of things lately that i said, "i would never..." it's not scaring me at all. does that mean i am choosing the right way? it's seems like that now.

my life is great one minute and then the next it's not. why is that?

my summer was going good. i was getting into a schedule that i was use to. now my energy has left me and i am feeling really lonely. there's only one way to sovle being lonely that is going out on the town with friends. so i got hot and went out with mandy to meet some of her friends that i have been needed to meet for quite a well now. they were amazingly funny!!!  peacock is the best place ever!! i started dancing at the club, some random guy gave him his business card, wtf??  that just got me creeped out.

that brings me to my next thought. what the fuck is up with males? seriously??? I have serious doubts about what goes on in their minds in regards to relationships. I'm tired of being on the fence about my feelings. cuz every hour i honestly change the way i feel. that's normal cuz i am trying to figure out who i am and want to be. This summer i have lots of time to think about my direction in life. and you wanna know what i have decided so far this summer. i don't like how i was so close-minded. now i am trying to break out of the cast i molded myself. I am changing my mind about alot of things that i said no way!! but it interesting me now. for example, i never wanted to get a tattoo, but this summer i am going to get one. i'm so excited about it!!! i can't wait. i need to figure out what design so i can get it. i am growing up and living on my own which makes me less relient on my parents, so i am growing away from them, which is good for me. but i am not going to start going to the bars on a regular bases like some old friends, that's not me. i want to be true to myself and people around me. I want to be able to inspire people with my life and my wisdom since i am so old. changing is a beautiful thing, you know the story of the very hungry catapiller. I am turning into a beautiful butterfly!!

Seriously, does anyone ever use this anymore or is everyone on myspace now...

i haven't written in a long time, i have been out of touch with the cyberworld.

just graduated from school i should be really excited, but i am not really. I have way to much time on my hands and now everyone is leaving cuz it's the summer and i found a job in corvallis so i have to stay... why is life always like this? seriously... somedays aren't the best, while the good days are the best why is that? anyway